My dear friend,
Show me your habits and I will be able to predict to a great extent where you will be in the next 5, 10 and even 20 years.
Unsuccessful people tend to blame almost everything for their success, except for one thing, their behavior.
And habits have the greatest power to build or tear down your success.
Success or failure is not an event. No one wakes up one day and finds himself successful or a failure.
Success or failure is a process, which develops over a long period of time. Anything that is made by a process is greatly influenced by the habits that a person has.
You see for yourself how your habits have an impact on your success.
The way you are today is the result of the habits you had in the past.
And if you continue those habits, you will continue to get the same results as you are getting now.
That's why I'm telling you if I know your habits, I know where you will end up, it's not a miracle, if you plant a bean seed, you won't be surprised if a bean plant grows.
Likewise, the results you see in your life, the seed of it is the habits you have.
If you haven't gotten what you want or reached where you want, there are habits you have now that are an obstacle for you.
Without breaking those habits, it will be very difficult for you to succeed.
In my experience working with various people who want to be more successful, I have seen the following behaviors as obstacles to success. Laziness, indolence, drunkenness, adultery, umbeya, theft, contempt, pride, ignorance, anger, lack of learning, lack of faith, greed and indifference to others.
If you have any of those habits, you should break it immediately so that it does not become an obstacle to your success.
Even if you succeed with those bad habits, your fall becomes bigger and more painful.
To get rid of bad habits that are an obstacle to your success, consider these;
I. Change your attitude.
The attitude you have is the root of the behavior you have. You cannot change behavior without changing attitude. It is the same as cutting the branches and leaving the trunk.
Attitude is the belief you have in yourself, it is what you see in yourself.
With the bad habits you have, you have a certain attitude that produces them.
Many have a hereditary perspective, that these habits are inherited from your parents.
You find someone is drunk and he tells you that we have the nature of drunkenness. Or he has an uncontrollable anger and says we are always very angry.
These types of attitudes justify bad behavior and make it seem chronic.
Completely destroy every attitude you have that justifies your bad habits.
Realize that you are the one with the power and authority to build your attitude and life in general.
Do not consider yourself as a guilty and weak person, but consider yourself as someone who has the power to change your life.
Know that you can be what you want and no matter what circumstances you have come from, you have the power to change your life.
Build the right attitude and you will be able to build the right behavior.
II. Develop alternative behaviors.
If you want to break a bad habit, make sure you build another good habit to replace that habit.
If you remove a habit and leave it open, you will find yourself going back to that habit or another bad habit.
If you want to stop drinking, you should use the time you were drinking to do other things that keep you busy.
It can be learning or collaborating with others who are doing good things.
Nature doesn't like a vacuum, if you break a habit and leave time that is empty, you give space for that habit or another to take that place.
III. Change the environment.
You cannot break a habit by being in the same environment that encourages that behavior.
Change your environment so that you are completely away from the habit you want to break.
Avoid groups of people who have the behavior you want to break, because those you are with have a great influence on you.
If you want to stop drinking, get rid of your friends who are alcoholics. And do not go to meetings in the bar area or have alcohol in you.
Don't fool yourself that you are strong and can refuse. The environment and those around you have a great influence on you.
Reduce your temptations by changing the environment that encourages the behavior you want to break.
IV. Break all kinds of bridges.
There is a bridge between you and bad behavior that is an obstacle for you, break all bridges.
If you have had an adulterous habit, you have detours, break all bridges with those detours. They are so wrong with them that even if you come back to ask for their forgiveness, they cannot understand you at all.
Breaking habits is war, what you want is victory, so every weapon that can help you, use it.
V. Create accountability.
Alone it's easy to go backwards. When you have someone to hold you accountable you push yourself harder because you know backing down will cost you.
Find someone you respect and pledge your intention to break the bad habit you have.
Explain the steps you are going to take.
Then he will give you the punishment that he will give you when you go against what you promised.
You may have to pay him a large amount of money which will hurt you a lot.
Or it could be him humiliating you in some way.
Build responsibility that you know if you don't do something you will lose and that will push you to do it.
VI. Know and live your purpose.
Struggling with bad behavior is an indicator that you still don't know the purpose of your life.
Because when you know the purpose, you realize how short time is.
All your time is spent on living your purpose and you have no time to waste.
Sit down and think deeply until you know your purpose, then use every minute of your remaining life on earth to live your purpose.
The greater your purpose, the more motivated you are to let go of bad habits that are an obstacle to your purpose.
VII. Have big dreams.
Big dreams, dreams that scare you and others are protection against bad behavior.
For example, if your dream is to become a billionaire, you won't have time to get drunk every day. That dream will absorb all your time, until you have no time to rest or be with those close to you.
If bad habits are bothering you, take whatever goal you have now, multiply it tenfold and promise people that you must achieve that goal.
Tell people clearly that you will achieve your big goal.
You know what will happen, they will reject you, they will oppose you, they will make fun of you and every time they see you doing wrong behavior, they will scold you.
That is all it takes to get rid of bad habits that are an obstacle and put you in good habits to get you to your big dreams.
VIII. Connect with the right people.
You should associate with the right people, people with good behavior and people who will feel very embarrassed when they know your bad habits.
Those around you have a great influence on the behavior you have, so choose them correctly.
Also have a mentor and/or coach who helps you get out of bad habits and build good habits for your success.
IX. Have mercy on your life.
In the book Follow Your Heart, the author says that when life is easy, we always find a way to make it more difficult.
And that is clear, many bad habits that hinder us, we tend to build them when life is easy.
When a person has no money, he lacks many things, but when he gets money, everything bad happens to him, drunkenness, adultery, contempt, pride, etc.
Have mercy on your life, don't want to make it harder than it is.
X. Don't be paranoid.
There is a saying that one person told you that you have a problem, maybe he is the one with the problem.
If three people tell you that you have a problem, there may be a conspiracy against you.
But if 10 people tell you that you have a problem, then you really have a problem.
Bad habits have become a stumbling block for many because of controversy. Many do not like to admit that their habits are the obstacle for them.
And they like to use comforting statements, mentioning other people who are successful despite having the same behavior as them.
Friend, this is not a question of comparing yourself with others, it is a question of reflecting on yourself and seeing what your habits have contributed or hindered you.
Even if they are useful for others, if they are not useful for you, leave them.
Consider what you have learned here so that you can break bad habits that are an obstacle for you.
